To Lose or to Gain
by Yemi Hikari
Summary: When Azulon said Ozai should sacrifice his son he did not mean for Zuko to be killed.


_Disclaimer – I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender. I've wanted to write this one-shot since before the non-novelization comics came out, but I never got around to doing so until now._

**To Lose is to Gain**

Azulon was no fool.

The Fire Lord remembered watching Ozai grow up in his older brother's shadow yet remembered the bitter looks of jealousy Ozai sent Iroh's way whenever he didn't think nobody was watching. Azulon hoped his youngest grew out of this bitter resentment, yet the obvious coveting of Iroh's birthright made quite clear Ozai never got over not being first born.

"_You were lucky to be born,_" Azulon once told Ozai. After all, he and Iliah never expected the blessing of a second child. In the back of his mind, he remembered thinking how he could protect that child from the horrors Iroh would face being the firstborn. As such, he never pushed Ozai like he did Iroh, nor did he ever place the expectation of becoming a general on his youngest child's shoulders.

Now, he wished he had, as Ozai was spoiled.

Worse, Azulon saw the bitter resentment come out in Ozai's treatment of his two grandchildren. In truth, he didn't want to believe the rumors floating around the Fire Nation court regarding the matter. In fact, he remembered the day Zuko was born.

~**A~**

The smell of tea permeated the room where Azulon sat with Iroh. Mirth twinkled in the eyes of his oldest son while Lu Ten sat nearby. Azulon rarely showed any sign of emotion, yet his mouth couldn't help but twist slightly if ever briefly upon seeing the way Lu Ten fidgeted slightly. The young prince's eyes drifted towards the ceiling as he let out a sigh indicating impatience. "How much longer?"

"With time and patience, the mulberry leaf becomes a silk gown." Iroh poured a cup of tea to help warm their bodies during the winter months. A child being born in the Fire Nation during the winter months was a rare event as most were born during the warmer months.

Azulon watched Lu Ten turn his head and give his father an exasperated look. If he weren't the Fire Lord he would let out a loud laugh, yet Iroh did this for him. Another slight twist of the mouth threatened to escape his mouth. His eldest didn't care about pomp, which in turn pleased Azulon greatly, yet Iroh would also make a wise Fire Lord one day.

Ozai, on the other hand, didn't have the patience of his older brother, yet the young man was rash in the decisions he made regarding – well, everything. Azulon lifted the cup of tea Iroh prepared for him to his lips and took a small yet content sip of the calming drink. "Patience Prince Lu Ten. Your cousin will arrive soon."

Lu Ten's face turned slightly. The young prince let out a sigh before turning and kneeling into a bow before his grandfather. "Apologizes Fire Lord Azulon."

"There is no need to apologize. The birth of a prince, even if they are of the branch family is something to be celebrated."

"I was actually thinking…" Lu Ten stopped speaking and instead looked at the ground. A slight blush spread across the young prince's cheeks as if his thoughts embarrassed him.

A laugh escaped from Iroh's mouth. "I think my son sees this as a chance to finally have a sibling."

One of Azulon's eyebrows shot up. Iroh's wife died in childbirth, meaning Lu Ten would have no siblings, nor did he ever know his mother. In some ways, Ursa filled the hole left, but she couldn't ever fill the hole in Iroh's heart. In the back of his mind Azulon didn't bring up the idea of Ursa not surviving, but the look on the Fire Sage's face right before he bowed to the Fire Lord after the soldiers announced his approach.

"Is the baby alright?" Lu Ten's words became a tangled mess.

"Prince Zuko is quite healthy." The Fire Sage remained bowed low to the ground.

"What about Lady Ursa?" Someone needed to ask the question.

"She – she is also well."

Yet something was wrong. Iroh set his hands into his lap lightly. "There is something the matter though, isn't there?"

Azulon watched the Fire Sage tense up. "What happened?"

"I…" The Fire Sage kept his head to the ground. "The situation is resolved Fire Lord Azulon."

"I don't care that the situation is resolved."

"Prince Ozai almost threw the young prince over the wall."

"What?" Lu Ten voiced Azulon's thoughts, but Azulon didn't like seeing the look of horror which appeared on his grandson's face.

"_Why_ would he do _that_?"

The Fire Sage trembled. "Because the child didn't have the eyes of a Firebender."

**~A~**

That single incident should have been a warning regarding what was to come, yet Azulon simply tightened his reign on the Fire Sages and put the fear into them. After all, Ozai did save his small son when he was washed out to sea, and yet Azulon also remembered asking Ursa what worried her after one of their return trips only to learn that Ozai used his own words against him.

"_You were lucky to be born_," became twisted from words regarding the miracle of being born to a mantra of contempt. Azulon found himself watching Ozai close after that, yet would have likely seen what he saw, for he was already suspecting Ozai.

In fact, Azulon fought back the urge to vomit as Ozai presented him Azula in a pompous attempt at trying to wrench Iroh's birthright from his own hands. The fact Ozai _let_ Azula interrupt her older brother with the response to the question posed brought him no end of irritation, yet it was obvious Zuko was embarrassed by his father's actions even if the young prince didn't realize this himself.

Zuko's actions lacked pomp.

While it was true the young prince acted in a sense of pride and honor when he showed off his Firebending skills – or lack thereof, it was also true Zuko wasn't attempting to boast, nor was the child vain like his sister and Ozai were. The child simply wanted someone to be proud of him, and while Ursa filled this need to a degree this was not the same as a male figure showing pride in the young boy's accomplishments.

Yet, in the back of his mind, Azulon wondered if Zuko understood the purpose of Ozai's manipulations. Afterall…

**~A~**

"Grand…"

Azulon's head darted up from his solace and saw his youngest grandson – the only grandson he had left – looking at him with wide eyes. He watched Zuko swallow back his fear and tuck his arms behind his back.

"Fire Lord Azulon." The child proceeded into the proper procedure.

"What are you doing?"

"Playing." The boy's head remained bowed, but the answer explained why Zuko's clothing was not his best. "I did not mean to disturb you."

"What do you want?"

"I…"

"You called out for me." Azulon watched the boy shake. "Prince Zuko, lift your head and look me in the eye, but tell me why you thought to disturb me."

"I…" Zuko's head darted up. "Is there something wrong?" Azulon watched the young prince take the silence as confirmation he'd done something wrong. The boy's head went down again, but his voice trembled. "I'm sorry."

"Why do you think something is wrong?" Azulon continued watching. "And sit up. You are a Prince of the Fire Nation."

"Yes Fire Lord Azulon." The boy sat up and looked his grandfather in the eye, but didn't say anything.

"Prince Zuko, answer my question."

Zuko's eyes darted away, yet Azulon knew the boy was no threat. Unlike Ozai the boy didn't seem capable of lying. "You seemed sad."

"Are you telling me my emotions were that apparent?"

"No." Zuko continued looking away. "It was just a feeling."

"A feeling?" Azulon felt his hands tighten around his knees. Everyone in the court knew the reason he'd sequestered himself away.

"Yes?"

"Do you not know Prince Zuko?"

"Know what?"

"That Prince Lu Ten is dead?" Azulon watched the boy's eyes widen in horror.

"No."

"No, you didn't know?" The Fire Lord watched the boy's eyes tear up.

"No, you're lying! Lu Ten is the greatest Firebender ever!"

It was a very brazen act to tell the Fire Lord of all people that he was lying, and yet Azulon couldn't fault the young prince for his reaction. While Azulon controlled his emotions regarding the death of his eldest grandson his youngest didn't hold back the tears. Of course, most people wouldn't dare run away from the Fire Lord in tears and Zuko did just that.

He found the young prince later sitting by the Turtle-Duck pond crying. Ursa glanced up before quickly bowing her head. "Apologizes. Prince Zuko learned Prince Lu Ten died. I don't know how he found out."

"You didn't tell him." Azulon watched Ursa glance over at her small son. "Never mind. Leave us. I'd like to speak to Zuko alone."

The use of just Zuko's name meant he wanted to have an intimate conversation with the young prince and Ursa backed away, yet she didn't go far. Azulon walked over and looked down at the small figure. In the back of his mind, Azulon noted Zuko was small for his age as he let his shadow cover the boy which in turn let him know someone was there. Zuko turned and wiped away a tear while trying to regain his composure in front of the Fire Lord. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry Fire Lord Azulon."

"For what?"

"For being like this in front of you. For being like this in front of you earlier."

Azulon mentally noted Zuko was always honest to a fault. The fact it was easy to tell when Zuko was leaving something out didn't help. "And?"

"I should have done something to cheer you up."

"What would you have done?"

"I don't know. I would have figured it out." Zuko looked up at Azulon with determination.

"You already have." The child looked at him in confusion. "Do you think you could do the same for Iroh?"

"Yes!" Zuko's determination continued. "Lu Ten would want me to take care of Uncle Iroh."

**~A~**

Azulon wasn't blind to the fact Ozai's least favorite child showed more concern regarding Iroh's plight than his own father did. To say Zuko was precious was an understatement, and yet Ozai refused to see how precious the child was.

Instead, Ozai simply saw a child who struggled with Firebending and was worthless. yet the knowledge of the prophesy likely didn't help. The prophecy promised the union would bring power to the bloodline, yet a child who struggled to Firebend didn't seem to be a fulfillment of the prophecy. Azula instead would seem like the promised child.

Azulon saw a child whose growth was stifled. In the back of his mind, he couldn't tell if Zuko struggle came from a lack of potential or if it came from neglect. Ozai's words were cutting, but so were the looks. Ozai obviously didn't want Zuko to show off his skill, yet saw the boy as an embarrassment, yet Ozai didn't see the important thing Ursa saw.

Zuko wasn't the type of child to give up.

There was one thing which made Azulon unable to decide if Zuko's struggle came from lack of potential or from neglect. The Fire Lord always remembered how Zuko struggled to do everything. Even the act of learning to walk came late to the young prince, and yet he never gave up. The deciding factor ultimately came from an unseen possibility.

Lu Ten had always believed in that possibility – the potential hidden in Zuko.

**~A~**

"Let me guess. The smile on your face is because of a girl?"

Azulon watched Lu Ten's eyes widen. The prince bowed to his grandfather. "Fire Lord Azulon. You're just like my father, teasing me about that kind of thing."

"That didn't answer my question."

"Oh." Lu Ten's head darted up dropping all informality. "Zuko finally bent fire."

"He did?" Azulon wondered why Ozai hadn't told him about this yet told him all about Azula's first Firebending movements.

"Yes! I know it's only a small whisper of a flame right now, but it will grow with time. He's going to be a strong Firebender someday."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because I believe in him. Father does as well, but he also says the most beautiful bud blooms late. Winter flowers are particularly beautiful, but Zuko was born during the winter, so I believe in him." Lu Ten let out a laugh. "Plus, he looks up at me with such adoring eyes. He thinks I'm the greatest at everything, though I'm really not. I guess this is how my father felt having a younger brother."

**~A~**

Azulon wondered if this were the case as Ozai never thought of Iroh in such a manner, but now he'd figuratively spit on Lu Ten's memory. He, of course, needed an apt punishment as acts such as Ozai's couldn't go unpunished. Ozai would, in fact, lose his son, but he would learn the price of sacrifice.

He wasn't asking for Ozai to kill Zuko, for Ozai wouldn't bother grieving for the boy and wouldn't feel the pain he and Iroh felt.

No, Zuko would become Iroh's son and Ozai would be forced to watch another man raise his firstborn child into the man he was meant to be, yet losing a child in such a manner was more dishonorable unless one willingly gave their own child up. Under Iroh's tutelage, Zuko would grow into an amazing Firebender and future Fire Lord, but Iroh would have something to help him overcome his grief.

After all, he didn't wish to cause Iroh even more pain.

_Note – I could have ended the fanfic with a line indicating Azulon would end up dead before he could see this fulfilled but I wanted the one-shot to have the potential to lead into an AU where Azulon does make Zuko the son of Iroh which would be another fanfic. The reason this idea popped into my head came down to the words Azulon used and the fact Azula always lies. She would have told Zuko the truth which would upset him but left out any further instructions. Ozai would still seek to kill Azulon out of his own sense of honor which we know to be twisted._


End file.
